Friday, June 22, 2007

Solution to the "Seat Up/Seat Down" Debate

Of course you already know about the "Seat Up/Seat Down" debate. Sure you do! Everyone does. Yes, today we are going to talk about urination and domestic responsibility. The fact that you know what I'm referring to with the "Seat Up/Seat Down" reference goes to show how widespread of an issue this truly is.

Before I present my proposed solution to this age old debate, first let me see if I can't briefly capsulate the positions of the men and the women (let me know if I do your gender a disservice with my synopsis).

MEN - The toilet seat should be left up. No one in his or her right mind would sit on a toilet without looking. So if the women happen to fall in, that's their own fault. Potty training should include the side lesson to "look before you leap." Men don't accidentally pee on a closed seat because they look first. The same premise should hold for women.

WOMEN - The toilet seat should be left down. First, see the "falling in" discussion from the men's section above. It's a serious concern, especially for those late night trips. Besides, it is more sanitary and aesthetic to have the toilet seat down. Men use the toilet with the toilet seat down about 25%-50% of the time anyway. Women use the toilet with the toilet seat down about 99% of the time (don't ask me anything more about the 1%, I don't want to talk about it). Thus, even if you only look at the percentage usage of "Seat Up/Seat Down" then the seat should definitely be left down.

What got me thinking about this debate again is that I have recently installed a new toilet in one of our bathrooms. Yes, it only took me a month to complete. But it got done. I am a man.

This particular toilet has the "extended bowl" (imagine a Tim the Toolman Taylor grunt here). I love it. Mrs. Frog thinks it is giant. It's big, but I wouldn't go so far as giant. The design fits in very nicely with pedestal sink and other bathroom accessories. The look was so complete that the fuzzy little toilet seat cover (yuck!) no longer belonged in that room. So of course the toilet seat cover needed to be used somewhere. It is now in the master bathroom.

Bare with me just a moment longer ... I'm getting to the point, but the back-story was slightly important. OK, so we've got three bathrooms in our house. The new one with the elongated bowl ... the seat is too tall and will fall down if not held open about 85% of the time. Now, when I hold up the seat with one hand ... let's just say that things don't always go according to plan and it can sometimes get out of control. I won't elaborate, but let's just say that it's best when men have two free hands available when they urinate.

The master bathroom now has that fuzzy toilet seat cover. And now it is too thick to stay open as well. The seat will fall unless held up. Keep in mind that the toilet in the master bathroom doesn't have the longer toilet seat because it is a regular sized toilet, and therefore is ever so slightly more difficult to keep up while in the process of urination. The third toilet in the house does have a seat that will stay up, but this is the guest bathroom and in the least convenient location of the three (hey, at least we let our guests have their own bathroom).

SOLUTION - Keep the seat down and have the men train on better aim. Think of it like a shooting range. This solution will not work if the cluster is too spread out, but if the man can achieve tight grouping on his shots ... this solution will work just fine. Keep the seat down, stand over top of the toilet (instead of just in front of it) and aim straight down. Be careful of the last few drops and make sure the aim is true. With better aim and concentration, I've found that lifting the toilet seat up is a complete waste of time and energy. Besides, when the toilet seat stays down, the women in the house are happiest.

TAAAA-DAAAA! Problem solved. Commence the commenting.

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Bryan Evans said...

Even if a man were to have impressive aim, that's not to say that the first and/or last second of pee would go directly where aimed. I'm a 20-year-old male that admittedly spends time during the winter snowboard season artistically writing my name in cursive with my aim. I quite confident that I can aim for the center. Yet, that's not to say that a few dribbles won't get onto the seat.

My personal solution is to have a urinal somewhere in the house. However, I am a bachelor, so this will get interesting when the ladies are over.

Anonymous said...

Ladies I understand your frustration when men leave the toilet seat up! Trust me. I moved in with my GF and I always simply forgot to put the seat down, I really meant to put it back down but I always forgot! So one day I used the potty and my GF had left me a sticky note reminding me of it, whatever..., however it occurred to me that it would be cool if I had some sort of reminder that I can use to put the seat down, but also not feel like she was demanding it from me. What I did was to come up with a sticker with some funny designs and a short message to get the point across. I first tried it in a party at my house, everybody loved it and surprisingly the bathroom was kept clean the whole night. Then gave away some of my stickers to other friends and the results were outstanding. I could go on and on...zzzz but just try them yourself check them out at that is my site, you will crack up! Thanks to you all and good luck! Humor keeps us loving life.

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