Saturday, July 28, 2007

The Stogie & Stinky Show

Join the claymation stars, Stogie and Stinky, on their mad-cap adventure to slay evil and win the girl. The visual elements of the claymation was captured first and completely independent of the sound track. No choreography was laid out in advance. Any synchronization between the visual and audio elements of this claymation production is purely coincidental. You can tell this is was produced using classic claymation techniques by the few frames near the end where hands were accidentally caught in the shots. The degradation of the VHS tape which housed the original footage is evident in this digital reproduction. This pilot episode was shot circa 1992 by Uncle Frog and Brother Frog.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Men, Women and the Bathroom

When we purchased our current home, one of the features (or lack thereof) pointed out to us was that the master bathroom did not have dual sinks. To be frank, the master bathroom is a little small. But I wasn't terribly concerned about this at the time.

You see, logic told me that this would not be an issue. Here are the known facts: There are twenty-four hours in the day, with an average of eight of those hours spent sleeping and another nine hours per day working and commuting. This leaves seven hours. It takes me literally fifteen minutes to get ready (that's for the 3 S's ... you know, sh*t, shower and shave). This means I would only be using 1/28th of this seven hour daily period to get ready for the day. This would leave Mrs. Frog 27/28th of that time available for her to use our master bathroom in complete privacy.

Here are the discovered facts: Whenever I choose to use my 1/28th of the time, aka fifteen minutes, Mrs. Frog decides this is a perfect time for her to use the bathroom.

WTF?!? I can't have fifteen minutes of privacy a day? The math works out. The logic is sound. However, in reality, this still doesn't work as it should.

I'm operating under the assumption (yes, I know what "they" say about assuming) that this is a loving gesture made by a woman that is intended to express her desire to be always close to her loving man ... as opposed to the equally plausible assumption that this is a woman's non-verbal gesture to clearly communicate to the man that there will never be another moment of privacy and that anything the man believes he actually still has all to himself can instantly be taken away by said woman.

Of course Mrs. Frog and your Uncle Frog want to spend every waking moment together, so in that regard this posting is more of an observation than it is a complaint. But if any of you female types out there would wish to comment about how this can possibly happen, we surely would appreciate the insight.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Frogs Don't Scream

Nope. Frogs might cry, yell or even whine a little bit every now and again. But frogs definitely do not scream. UncleFrog, in no way, shape or form condones cruelty to animals. Frogs are people, too. However, I have to admit, this cartoon did give me a warped little chuckle.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

The Freak

Some days you feel like a freak, some days a freak feels like you. What kind of day is today?

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Songs About Meat Rule the Ears as Steak Rules the Mouth

The only thing better than a big juicy steak is a big juicy steak consumed listening to a song about a big juicy steak. It satisfies so many of our senses ... taste, touch, smell, sight and with the tune-age we even appeal to the sense of hearing.

AVSME has added a couple of pages dedicated to lyrical meat byproducts (meat related songs) to the site. Check out the new meat lovers song pages here.

Look for the links in the left navigation bar designated as "song" and you are on the right track. Do you know of any other meat related songs or parodies that should be featured at AVSME? Let us know in the comment section. Thanks, and enjoy your meat today!

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Cloned Meat? It's Deja Stew!

So the FDA will approve the use of cloned animals and products produced by cloned animals into the human food supply. Will every meal from here on out taste exactly the same? Will people be clamoring for their Deja Stew brand beef stew?

Thus far farmers and scientists are claiming that the actual use of cloned animals in the production of food for humans is not cost effective. It is much too expensive to clone an animal for simple human consumption. Therefore, they conclude, that there is nothing to fear. Well, perhaps. Or perhaps some day it will become economically feasible. Perhaps one day it will be cheaper and easier to press a selection button to create new life, than it will be to use regular breeding techniques. Then what?

Just remember ... clones are people two!

Sunday, July 8, 2007

The Great Faith Race: Round 4 is a wonderfully diverse marketplace. Which led me to wonder how diverse it really is. Therefore, I decided to run an experiment called "The Great Faith Race." I took a sampling of major religions or religious figures and searched in the CafePress marketplace to see how many designs came up. Then I just sorted the results and am sharing them below. I ran this list the first time on April 30, 2007 and the second time on May 15, 2007 and the third time on June 10, 2007 so I'll also include comparison data.

COMPARISON DATA: The comparison data is for data on 7/08/07 compared to 6/10/07.

NEWLY ADDED: Jewish, Judaism, Hebrew, Druid, Voodoo, Shamanism, Kabbalah, Scientology, Quetzalcoatl, Voodou and Jedi have been added this round at the request of some of our blog readers (so keep the suggestions/comments coming!).

OBSERVATIONS: There were numerous searches that completed this month with fewer designs than last month. This may simply be an indication of the quirkiness of the CafePress marketplace rather than actual deletion of designs.
  • Voodou was suggested and added - Although this may be the correct spelling of voodou, we can see that people are using the voodoo spelling much more often.
  • Islam and Satan had the exact same number of designs this time - I ran it a few times to make sure what I thought I was seeing was actually what I should be seeing. Again, no need to read too much into this observation.
  • Agnostic and Hindu had the largest percentage increase noted for this round.
  • Zero designs were found for "Jedi" - though I suspect this has more to do with copyright issues than anything else.
  • Allah and Muhammad had the largest declines this round, again probably due to marketplace search quirkiness than anything really meaningful.

DISCLAIMERS: Although this appears to be very scientific in nature, this assumption should not be made. In other words, this is an unscientific study. Use this information, if at all, at your own risk. We make absolutely no warranties, expressed or implied, as to ... well ... anything. You get the drift.

Feel free to add your comments or observations. If I ever feel compelled to run "The Great Faith Race" again, did I miss any of your favorite religions or religious icons? Let us know!

Thursday, July 5, 2007

In Which Direction Does a Toilet Flush on the Equator?

Growing up we were taught that due to the rotation of the Earth, while toilets flushed and sink basins drained in a counter-clockwise direction in the United States, that the toilets and sinks would drain in a clockwise direction in Australia. Hurricanes can be seen to hold this same swirling pattern depending upon if it was in the northern or southern hemispheres. It all makes perfect sense, and we even have friends who have been to Australia and swear this is true.

Well, this got your Uncle Frog thinking ... dangerous, I know ... which direction does the toilet flush or the sink basis drain if one was exactly upon the Equator? I presented the question to the group of people with whom we were enjoying our Independence Day celebration and no one knew the answer. We speculated that there would be zero rotation exactly upon the equator when the toilet flushed or the sink basin drained. Mrs. Frog even proposed that toilets might flush exactly the same in Australia, and rejected the premise out of turn. Surely someone knows the answer, so I headed out into the World Wide Web to find the answer.

It turns out from my research thus far, that the actual answer to "Which way does the water in a toilet bowl rotate when it is flushed?" is "A toilet will flush in the direction in which it was designed to flush." WHAT?!?! No fancy explanation about the Earth's rotation or the Coriolis force or hemispheres? Nope.

Apparently this is a very widely held misconception. The rotation of the Earth has an immeasurable affect upon something so small as a bowl of water. Whether a toilet flushes in a clockwise or counter-clockwise direction is solely determined by the design of the toilet. Wow, I learn something new every day, and occasionally I even unlearn something new.

Monday, July 2, 2007

Who wants to pick on fat people? Raise your hand!

You can't pick on people because of their race anymore. It's just not acceptable. You can't pick on people because of their gender, or even due to their sexual orientation. It's simply not politically correct. Then who on Earth, by gosh, is left to be the butt of a thousand mean jokes? Fat people, of course!

Now then, before you read too much into this article, let me explain ... I'm a member of the unspoken and eminently informal fat people's club. I'm not advocating picking on our chubby brethren. Not in the least. But you must realize, that for some reason, it still seems acceptable by society to pick on and torment overweight people.
No, I'm not here to defend the bully actions of other people toward fat men, fat women, fat boys or fat girls. We are here to bring the jokes to light, for it is in the light that the cockroaches go scurrying. If you've got a "few extra pounds" to lose, why put yourself through all the stress and anxiety about it. Simply accept yourself for who you are.

We don't discriminate against skinny people here, either. Everyone is welcome. Here we will expose fat jokes for what they are ... funny humor. By embracing it, we diffuse the jokes and slams of their power. We can strip the negativity from it by keeping it in the light. It's hard to tease a fat guy who has "Fatty McButter Pants" across his chest. What are the jokesters going to say? Nothing. So won't you join us over at the Fat Pride site and have some fun?