Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Men, Women and the Bathroom

When we purchased our current home, one of the features (or lack thereof) pointed out to us was that the master bathroom did not have dual sinks. To be frank, the master bathroom is a little small. But I wasn't terribly concerned about this at the time.

You see, logic told me that this would not be an issue. Here are the known facts: There are twenty-four hours in the day, with an average of eight of those hours spent sleeping and another nine hours per day working and commuting. This leaves seven hours. It takes me literally fifteen minutes to get ready (that's for the 3 S's ... you know, sh*t, shower and shave). This means I would only be using 1/28th of this seven hour daily period to get ready for the day. This would leave Mrs. Frog 27/28th of that time available for her to use our master bathroom in complete privacy.

Here are the discovered facts: Whenever I choose to use my 1/28th of the time, aka fifteen minutes, Mrs. Frog decides this is a perfect time for her to use the bathroom.

WTF?!? I can't have fifteen minutes of privacy a day? The math works out. The logic is sound. However, in reality, this still doesn't work as it should.

I'm operating under the assumption (yes, I know what "they" say about assuming) that this is a loving gesture made by a woman that is intended to express her desire to be always close to her loving man ... as opposed to the equally plausible assumption that this is a woman's non-verbal gesture to clearly communicate to the man that there will never be another moment of privacy and that anything the man believes he actually still has all to himself can instantly be taken away by said woman.

Of course Mrs. Frog and your Uncle Frog want to spend every waking moment together, so in that regard this posting is more of an observation than it is a complaint. But if any of you female types out there would wish to comment about how this can possibly happen, we surely would appreciate the insight.

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